I overheard a kid saying to his mom at Walmart: "Mommy.. should we buy cups for daddy's spit?"
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
when i'm drunk i think im just gonna point at him and yell adultery is a sinnnn. youre going to helllll
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
The whole time we were fucking I kept thinking, "My dad would love this cologne. I'll have to ask him where he got it." the highlight of the night is that I figured out my dad's birthday gift.
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
He's against "violent sex" cause apparently my body is "sacred". Like dude I'm about to tell you about blowing your brother just so you'll fuck me like an animal Jesus Christ....
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
Randomize
