I just queefed in yoga class and now the old man next to me is smiling at me.
Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
Sober December ended when I found beer behind my bed...I lost $2000 but spent 6 hours sober. Meet me at the bar?
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
Just shook hands with the bud light truck driver, thanked him for his service to our country
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
Ran out of eye drops right after putting them in one eye. Half baked at work.
If you don't come home and fuck me soon I'm walking over there naked and dragging you home by your penis
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
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