Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
Only time i ever look at my online banking statement is to see when i left the bar.
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
I am the Angelina Jolie to his Billy Bob Thorton. We just don't work.
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
I can't possibly be the only person who has ever eaten Cheetos with a spoon to avoid the powder getting in my fingers
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
Randomize
