he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
I just miserably failed my own drug test. At least I know what a positive will look like when I give them to the employees tomorrow.
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
Holy shit. Do you realize what this means? Officially all of my ex-bfs are either dead or gay
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
Karaoke machines out. We're taking turns farting into the microphone. Shits going south fast. Definitely be awake when you get home.
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
Apparently I bought a laptop last night, then gave the laptop to a friend who was going to give it to her friends' friend to put some cool shit on it. Anyway, I have no idea where my new laptop is now.
Everyone else's "needs" are getting in the way of my alcoholism.
Randomize
