The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
Your friend who drunkenly cleaned the kitchen just wished the class a Happy National Tutu Day. While wearing a tutu. Make a move or I'm gonna marry her.
You turned to me, winked, whispered "man the harpoons" and walked out with the fat chick
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
Randomize
