I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
So... my daughter's new girlfriend Is the daughter of the girl I dated on and off in college Who ran away because she got pregnant at my house party. My Legitimate daughter Is probably fucking my Illegitimate daughter...
Randomize
