I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
After the apocalypse all we'll have is vodka and twinkles.
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
what happened last night?!
you took a shot and then laid down on our kitchen table and passed out.. then when we tried to move you to the couch you screamed "no! i love tables"
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
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