I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
I don't know why people felt they couldn't use the toilet with me passed out in the tub. I shut the curtain. It was like being in another room.
Tomorrow, if I don't look at least 5% better than I do on a regular day to day basis, I want you to hit me and tell me that no one will ever love me if I continue to look like I just rolled out of a cocaine induced hibernation. I'm asking you for tough love.
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
I still think it's strange your mom saw me 93% naked with a Santa hat on and a raging boner. Tis the season right?
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
It's not my fault, Tequila turned all my alarms off.
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
Randomize
