Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
I ran into my parents house and stole a bottle of vodka last night...Apparently left them a note that read "DRUNK. TOOK VODKA. BRING MORE."
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
How about this: I support you through your miserable marriage, and you support me through all my anonymous sex?
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
There's a hole in our hallway wall. Don't hate me. I'll fix it. It's only about the size of a beach ball. I promise to never scale walls in our apartment ever again. Don't hate me. I love you.
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