You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
Why is there puke in my guitar?
Because you puked in your guitar.
You told the guy in Wawa you needed his hoagie for "a scavenger hunt" and then called him a "fuckstained Muggle" when he didn't give it to you. You are a delight.
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
Randomize
