Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
went to the bathroom to piss, saw puke in the toilet thought wtf i dont remember puking, then turned around to find a chick i've never seen before passed out in my shower.
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
That unicorn pillow pet really made sleeping with my head in the toilet a little better.
I'd like to thank you for ensuring I didn't die. Id also like to show you the most impressive bruise you will perhaps ever see
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
I'll talk to you in a minute. Gotta put my peacocks away
Randomize
