my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
Redeem this text for a blowjob
My dad just walked in on me screwing the chick from the bar...the look of relief on his face was sort of hurtful.
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
we found you in the kitchen at five am trying to make a vodka omelette. you said you didn't want to live in a world where your two favourite things couldn't be together.
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
You dropped my mother on the dance floor. She has a concussion. You didn't apologize. Don't speak to me for a while.
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
I'll text you tomorrow when I'm not in someone's torture cave if I don't by noon call for help.
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