you were so drunk you tried to use the microwave as a calculator for your BAC
She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
My knee is bleeding. This cheeseburger is the 3rd thing I made out with today and I think I got a job with the ducks. Catalina is poppin
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
I've gotten 2 singers numbers, a 6'5 dude has promised to take me to Oktoberfest, and I spent the night w a pilot named Zeus who looks like caramel tastes. Also I sprained my thumb punching some guy I named 'hater'. I love Nashville
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
i woke up this morning with a fake eyeball in my pocket
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
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