What time are you coming? Can you stop and get mouse traps and trojans?
You have mice?
no why?
its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
What part of i'm handcuffed to an oven do you not understand?
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
And the next thing I knew I was blowing this random hot italian bartender with an uncircumcised penis in his work closet
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
Its because she suspects I'm a frequent drug user, which I am, but I am going to make her feel like she is crazy for believing it.
I’m going to Lewinsky this place
That makes no sense, but it sounds terrifying
Randomize
