I think i sorta joined a cult last night
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
You kept telling the cops that our ice luge was practice for the next winter olympics
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
Yelling at the starbucks lady to write Beyoncé on my cup
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
We had sex in Lake Michigan for an hour Sunday.
Thanks for ruining an entire lake for me. I hate you so much right now.
Randomize
