omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
I told a kindergarten student that candy canes are bones of reject elves.
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
There is nothing more embarrassing than your birth control alarm going off while in a meeting with your boss and they tell you to take it.
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
He's trying to marry me, when is the appropriate time to tell him my real name and that Dallas is a completely fictitious slutty alter ego? I need the advice of someone with morals.
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
Randomize
