i just realized Britney Spears and I are more alike than I thought. Both of us have our parents in complete control of our lives, we both have restraining orders on previous boyfriends, and we all know both of us can put on a hell of a show
I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
it looks like my getting laid tonight is going to depend on my knowledge of native birds. this is a weird party
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
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