You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
It's hard to hold down the snapchat button for video while thrusting. Sorry if the cinematography wasn't Oscar-worthy.
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
Randomize
