YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
She was wasted. Kept yelling "what if I'm pregnant" and trying to push me into the tree. First and last time I bring a girl to my family christmas party.
My landlord wasn't pleased about the new fire pit we built him.
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
Didn't get laid. But got a free pie from a waitress. A whole pie.
At one point he was so drunk he was carrying around a bottle of patron drinking out of it and falling everywhere and every time he spilled it he would scream "THERE GOES TWENTY DOLLARS."
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
I just slammed a bottle of white wine before I came to Whole Foods so basically I'm just training to be a middle aged white woman.
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
Got baked and laid and ate baked lays when I laid down while baking the brownies I I’m Superman
You’re still high, aren’t you?
Oh yeah
Randomize
