They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
I just miserably failed my own drug test. At least I know what a positive will look like when I give them to the employees tomorrow.
Is there a card that says "Sorry I got drunk at your Christmas party and tried to steal your monogrammed hand towels so that I could give you something nice for Christmas"?
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
I've started drunk signing up for 5ks. Who even does that?
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
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