Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
I must have drunkenly masturbated really loud last night, cause my roommate and his wife wont look at me
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
Randomize
