Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
I have to start avoiding pregnant women. This is getting out of hand.
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
You burped in your shoe and whispered 'you're mine now'
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
I think i got beer on your cat.
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
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