There's an amish chick decked out in amish clothes on a cell phone staring at me.
Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
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