where am i from again
I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
Weed smoke burps in the boss's face. Job security.
Well I found you sipping ron diaz out of a child's dinosaur cup while sticking your fingers in the guy's fish tank and watching the "pirahnas" snap at your finger and laughing
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
I'm covered in jizz and the toll booth lady knew it
Remember that Czech tennis player I brought home from beer pong and banged on your couch last year? He just booty calle me. From the Czech Republic.
Randomize
