Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
Dude you ate toast sprawled out on my kitchen floor and said "this is comfy". No more day drinking.
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
In retrospect i can confidently say that the last two months of our relationship... i was only in it because i didnt wanna lose my list on his netflix account.
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
I just wrote a self loathing message to self, wrapped my credit card in it, put it in an envelope, sealed it with another hate messame, and put it in my lock box. So. That's where I'm at.
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
It’s a hundred kinds of wrong to do Jell-O shots at home alone. Right?
I support drinking alone. But Jell-O shots. That’s a game changer.
Randomize
