I'm like a new puppy, everybody wants to touch me
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
What's the second line of that rhyme that starts "Vicodin before scotch...?"
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
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