When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
My boyfriend correctly calculated the time I would be out of alcohol and showed up about four minutes after I'd run out with two bottles of wine. I think this is love.
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
Nothing will ever be as awkward as looking my mother in the eye and talking to her while I have a dick inside me. Time for a lock on my door.
When we were in Vegas he tried to get an Elvis impersonator to act dead on a toilet so he could take photos. This is even worse
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