How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
i was having this nice romantic moment with my girlfriend. then jimmy came in and peed on the fridge
I just convinced a girl to drink my spit cup cuz I said it was dark beer and would get her drunk faster. I dare you to try something better.
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
When you consider the sheer number of events that had to occur in order to prevent me from fucking her, there must be a god
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
YOU WILL DIE AND I WILL CARVE 'I TOLD YOU SO' ON YOUR HEADSTONE
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
you know you’re single when you try to cook yourself a nice pasta dinner but you’re too weak to open the container of sauce and theres no one around to help you
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
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