I'll buy you a vibrator, we can get married for tax benefits, and live happily ever after with lots of doggggs.
I think i peed on brittanys purse
Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
Stoned in a petco on a Saturday. I figured out that ferrets can eat themselves out. Just picture it. Never leaving.
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
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