Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
I just learned that your liver regrows itself every 2 months. Best news I've heard all week.
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
Jesus Christ I am the crazy cat lady of vibrators
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
I spilled a whole plate of queso and salsa on my bed so I'm just eating it off my sheets with chips. How's your night going?
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
Randomize
