Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
It took him longer to remove his skinny jeans than it did for him to finish. I didn't even have time to realize it sucked until it was already over.
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
She just texted me that she's horny, then started quoted random music, then telling me everything she regrets. I don't think there's enough tequila in the world for me to deal with her...
I sleep texted my mom and asked her for a condom last night
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
He was stoned laying on my bed singing I'm a little tea cup while I took a pregnancy test. Thank god it was negative.
My phone just put together a highlight reel of yesterday's dick pic session, set to music and everything
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
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