That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
Well, I guess my plans of staying around the apartment and drinking my weight in boxed wine are ruined. I have a date tonight.
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
My new plan is to whip out my titties when they arrive. Maybe they won’t notice that I broke the couch fucking my boss...
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