Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
sleeping like a two year old who chased ambien with a bottle of whiskey.
Watching Miami Social reminded me of how much I miss snorting coke with burger king straws in a life guard hut on the beach until we noticed someone was drowning.
Did you save them?
Who?
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
He sent me a snap chat of his naked torso with cookies over his nipples. Like.... that does not make me want you homeboy.
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
I wanna snuggle with you as we feed each other chipotle burrito bowls and that's just where I'm at right now
Stop it with the monkey emojis. It's like sexting with Curious George
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