Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
Also epiphany: I gotta quit fucking with dudes that have never seen Harry Potter. They all turn out to be shitheads who probably eat honeydew.
Randomize
