she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
just hooked up with an air force officer in a hotel room paid for by the military. i feel like i should go around thanking taxpayers for the assist.
I want Paula Dean to narrate shark week next year
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
I'm about to initiate a game of drunk UNO.
Drunk UNO has officially been banned from now until forever.
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
His dog ate the vibrator. The WHOLE vibrator. We spend the morning after trying to make it vomit up the battery. Why does this always happen to me?
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
Just found a handle of Tito's in my TV stand
Can't recall when I put that there, but let's goooo
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