So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
There's times when I need to be plowed... and I'm ashamed to admit auto correct was able to predict that entire sentence.
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
My parents heard a lamp fall and crash and the dogs were barking like crazy so my mom got up to check. she found you peeing in a corner by the tv. And you kept shhhing her.
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
Randomize
