I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
3 complete strangers have joyously high-fived me on campus today. Tell me why, starting after jager bomb #4.
Fun fact: female penguins have sex in exchange for pebbles to build nests. I now know what im being for halloween
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
Put cigar in mouth backwards. Plz remind to check for scar in morning, can't feel it now. Screwdrivers are like morphine.
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
Randomize
