dude, that chick is coming to see me and stay for 2 nights. I'm hitting the 3rd in the trifecta of friends.
You're one hell of a depraved bastard dude, I'm borderline speechless. You officially win.
They all have matching tattoos so they're all official bffs. I love my life.
We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
Just blew a guy who had the same phone case as me. It was destiny.
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
Dude, putting on underwear straight out of the dryer is the greatest thing ever. It feels like I wrapped my vagina in a warm blanket.
If you fuck up my birthday by dying I will kick your fucking corpse.
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
Randomize
