just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
you didn't want to pay for the shots so you negotiated with the bartenders. Apparently 1 shot is worth 5 seconds of motor-boating you.
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
Drunk yet?
Well I just did the worm on an empty dance floor while the bridesmaids were serving cake. You tell me.
I just washed my birth control down with captain because I don't have any water and I need to wash the blood off my face before I leave my room.....
Remember when I said I had my shit together?
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
I named my Roomba after my pot dealer. I have a problem, don't i?
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
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