where are you
in your bedroom
how did you get in
your wife…
WTF
I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
only you would photoshop your dick
I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
So I realized I'm not completely sober when the automatic toilet flushed and I screamed
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
Hey, thanks for not calling the cops when I answered the door naked, high as fuck, and covered in red velvet cake batter.
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
Randomize
