Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
i think a pirate just stole the rest of our fucking beer. what an appropriate costume.
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
Relationships are fuckin' work. And you can't just up and leave with no questions when you really just need to get home because you're about to shit your pants.
You're so wise.
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
If Plan B had a rewards card I would have earned so many free tote bags by now
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
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