Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
Highlight of my night: you taking that shot of garlic butter and then throwing the empty container down on the stairs and saying FUCK.
I didn't have cash to pay cover at the bar, so I traded the bouncer a Krispy Kreme doughnut i had in my purse
I'm just sitting here drunk and eating peas because my life sucks
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
I better get weekly incoherent text messages or I will assume something is wrong.
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
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