**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
In America we eat man semen.
I can't believe I am actually paying for a night in a hotel for my parents so I can throw a party the night before Christmas Eve. I also can't believe they think it's their Christmas present.
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
So my step mom just informed me she tells stories about me at work as a form of birth control for the girls that work there, not sure if i should be offended or proud.
Every dick I’ve had or wanted in the last year is married. It’s like I became a professional home wrecker after I graduated.
Randomize