Don't look now but I am in class with a mixed drink
Don't look now but my prof just asked me if I was drinking a screwdriver
bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
#1 benefit of having an equality sticker on my car: some girl flashed me while i was driving home
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
God doesn't care if you're a paramedic, you can't do that to someones cat and still get into heaven
Totes just ripped ass and the bartender's eyes got wet
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
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