he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
mom just texted me "hawaii ambien". those are like the two things she talks about to keep me interested in spending time with her.
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
Randomize
