It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
Dude, did you fall in a toilet on the way over here?
Was face down in one actually. Bars 2, Drew 0.
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
It's 4:30 AM and I just walked through a line of 10 deer without them freaking out. I am the campus deer king.
He ate me out while watching Fifty Shades of Grey---needless to say I'm locking this down
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
Randomize
