is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
What can I say, I bounce back quick. Never thought the line "my turtle died" would get me so many free drinks last night
Recycling day makes me feel more like an alcoholic than regular days.
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
Have you ever thought, hey maybe the reason we were togather that long was because I was drunk the whole relationship?
Randomize
