um i just realized that some of the people at my family reunion look inbred. thats not a good sign.
hahaha beady eyes set close together? defs inbred.
my dads cousin just put a cig in his dogs mouth and says, "look its a commercial for newport!" holy hell i hope im adopted.
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
dont you remember the bouncer yelling at you while you were trying to piss?
no. why was the bouncer in the bathroom?
he wasn't. neither were you.
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
look at his last status update. 3:41 a.m. "i love u and miss u already egg burrito. happy trails friend." OF COURSE HE SMOKES POT.
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
The police report said "I asked the suspect if he had any identification. He replied yes and gave me a Pizza Hut gift card"
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
Is 10AM too early for pizza and Dr. Pepper?
Only if 5PM is too early to be drunk. And when has that ever stopped us?
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
Randomize
