I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now?
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
My phone autocorrected "shhhhh" to "AHHHHHHHHH" and I feel like that says a lot about my life
Randomize
