She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
Man, jail baloney is awful.
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
You can't talk like Dr. Evil to me five minutes after the greatest orgasm of my life.
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
I mostly blame me being such a miserable fuck on the fact that I was born on a Monday.
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
Randomize
